BIBLICAL CHILD DISCIPLINE

How are we to raise up our children?

Introduction: How are Christian parents supposed to raise and train up godly children and discipline them if they are rebellious? Raising godly children is a “total package”. All the biblical ingredients have to be there for a child to grow to follow Christ. Too often a parent who does not understand biblical child rearing principles and practices will use only one of the following principles – such as spanking. Spanking is biblical but it simply does not work when it is isolated from all of the other ingredients of a godly home. Spanking alone, separated from the other ingredients simply does not work.

            People who have not been raise in a godly home with a strong father and a supportive mother do not understand child rearing. A child left to himself will bring shame to his mother. Children who have been left to raise themselves grow up to be self-willed, sullen and rebellious against all authority – boss, police, pastor, etc. When this kind of person sees a godly parent discipline a sinning child, they often will falsely accuse the godly parent of “child abuse”. Never slander a godly parent who is seeking to implement biblical principles.

Preventative Discipline

1.                  Live a godly example before your children.

2.                  Teach them God’s law with loving persistence. Family Bible reading and prayer – teach the book of Proverbs.

“My son, if you receive my words and treasure my commands” (Pr. 2:1)

3.                  Special times to talk together with your child.

4.                  Instill a fear of God in the child by instilling a fear of the parents.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge.” (Pr. 1:7)

5.                  Mold the child’s thinking by making the child memorize key Bible passages.

“How can a young man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to your Word… Your Word I have hidden in my heart that I might not sin against You.” (Ps. 119:9-11)

6.                  Eliminate wicked influences from the child’s life.

“My son, do not walk in the way with them, keep your foot from their path.” (Pr. 1:15)

7.                  Speak words of love, affirmation and encouragement to and about your child.

“Pleasant words are like a honeycomb.” (Pr. 16:24)

8.                  Training – repeatedly talk through various scenarios where their faith and obedience will be tested.

“Train up a child in the way he should go” (Pr. 22:6)

9.                  Put them to work. Give them chores and responsibilities from very early on. Do not give allowance money.

“The labor of the righteous leads to life.” (Pr. 10:16; 19:15)

10.             Do not allow them to play games which glorify sin (i.e. many video games).

“Folly is joy to him who is destitute of discernment.” (Pr. 15:21)

“To do evil is like sport to a fool.” (Pr. 10:23)

“Fools mock at sin.” (Pr. 14:9)

11.             Train them to do good things for others without expecting pay.

“There is one who scatters and yet increases more.” (Pr. 11:24)

12.             Limit the amount of time they spend playing frivolous games (e.g. little league, school sports).

“He who follows frivolity is devoid of understanding” (Pr. 12:11)

13.             Limit their “free time”. Organize their days and fill them with useful things to do, read, play, etc.

“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”

14.             Do not allow them to sleep in.

“Do not love sleep, lest you come to poverty; open your eyes and you will be satisfied with bread”. (Pr. 20:13)

Corrective Discipline

1.                  Correct the child with wise counsel.

“They would have none of my counsel.” (Pr. 1:30)

2.                  Rebuke your child. (Pr. 15:31; 17:10)

“Turn at my rebuke. (Pr. 1:23)

“A wise son heeds his father’s instruction. But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” (Pr. 13:1)

3.                  Confront the sin in the child’s life!

4.                  Use real life examples and talk through scenarios. Talk with the child about their sin, explaining the nature of sin and it consequences.

(Pr. 5, 6, 7)

5.                  Correction.

“Correct your son and he will give you rest.” (Pr. 29:17)

6.                  Chasten the child promptly – don’t “wait till later”.

“Chasten your son while there is still hope.” (Pr. 19:18)

“Do not withhold correction from a child.” (Pr. 23:13)

7.                  Reproof.

8.                  Give clear warning explaining the rule and the consequence.

9.                  Stop them from arguing or having a bad attitude.

“Stop contention before a quarrel starts.” (Pr. 17:14)

Physical Correction

Important note: Spanking is to be used sparingly and only when the other forms of discipline discussed above, do not work. Spanking is only to be on the hind end. There are no vital organs in the buttocks and no damage can be done there. Never strike your child with your fist or in the face or in any other part of the body.

1.                  Physically remove the trouble-making child from those he is influencing to sin.

“Cast out the scoffer and contention will leave.” (Pr. 22:10)

2.                  Spanking – “The rod of correction”

“Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod and deliver his soul from hell.” (Pr. 23:13-14)

3.                  Spanking is for those who sin and forsake the way.

“Harsh discipline is for him who forsakes the way and he who hates correction will die.” (Pr. 15:10)

4.                  Spanking is for scoffers.

“Strike a scoffer and the simple will become wary.” (Pr. 19:25)

5.                  Make the spanking hurt.

“Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart.” (Pr. 20:30)

6.                  Spank on the rear end.

“A whip for the horse, a bridle for the donkey and a rod for the fools back(side)”. (Pr. 26:3)

“The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.” (Pr. 29:15)